So... We've been to see our Consultant. We pay to see him privately for two reasons: 1. When we went down the NHS route we saw three different doctors (of varying status'), all of whom gave us entirely different information - one 'Research Fellow' recommended the removal of my fallopian tubes based entirely upon the fact that I've had two treated ectopics. No laparoscopy or other diagnostic examination was required for her to recommend a surgical procedure that would leave me entirely infertile - I would like to suggest to her that she do a tad more 'research'... and 2. Though not entirely easy to see quickly (he's very popular and even privately there's a 6 wk waiting list), he was the first doctor we immediately trusted implicitly who was 100% honest with us. Ultimately, it doesn't cost much more if everything is straight forward and you have the benefit of seeing the same person each time. Choose a Consultant wisely - we saw three before we hit on 'the one'...
I would like to mention that if we had seen this Consultant originally - at first diagnosis - we would have stood a much greater chance of success at IVF with my eggs; the Consultant at the time told us to 'go on holiday' and encouraged us not to bother. By the time we got to 'the one' a year later, my ovaries and hormone levels were so severely depleted, there was no chance of a successful IVF - but I'm not bitter :o)
Our choices, then, remain the same: an attempt at IVF with DE's either here or abroad or adoption. We were slightly miffed to discover that in the UK there is no such thing as a 'waiting list' really, you have to 'recruit one to get one'. In the UK, there is no anonymity anymore and this has prevented more women coming forward to donate their eggs so you need to advertise in the press or ask around friends and family (I have never desired a sister more than I do right now...) for someone under 35 with a normal BMI, no family history of severe/genetic illness to donate eggs into the system. They don't necessarily need to be given to you - once you have someone donate in your name, you get some eggs out. Simples.
If you go abroad - my clinic has sister clinics in Northern Cyprus and Washington, USA - there is an abundance of DE's available (you even get a glossy brochure from the Washington clinic detailing everything you would want to know about the donor, including the age her own children reached their 'milestones'....Only in America!). Donor's get paid for their trouble and it is entirely anonymous. You are usually guaranteed a certain number of eggs and the prices don't include travel or accommodation. So yes, the cost...I wish I could say that it's not about the money. It's not, obviously. About the money. But it kind of is when you consider the cost:
UK - circa 7.5K
N Cyprus - circa 1.5K for the UK side of things and 7,000 euros for the N Cyprus side
Washington - circa 1.5K for the UK side of things and $17,000 (!!!!!) for the USA side
But at least it's all feeling a bit more 'normal'. I've had some lovely supportive comments on my Blog and would love to hear from more of you. The whole DE situation doesn't terrify me nearly as much as it did and I feel much more open to it.
We also discussed my HRT. He was fairly nonchalant about the whole POF thing - reassured me that by going into menopause early, I don't have an increased risk of uterine/ovarian Cancer (phew) and recommended I start immediately on Cycloprogynova at the 2mg dose. I've been a bit bothered about all of this increased Osteoporosis risk too so I asked him about it and was very reassured to learn that I will have only lost 'about 5%' of bone in the last year! 5%!!! Is he kidding??? That must surely equate to most of my left foot! I was pretty mortified and yet he didn't bat an eyelid. Note to self: Google normal bone loss. And check that my shoes haven't suddenly become too big for my left foot.
So off to the GP I go...Where I shall of course be insisting on a bone density scan...
I am also ecstatic to report that my healthy eating plan has lost me 8lb so far and I have gone back to my Zumba classes - my mood has improved by a gazillion!!!
Onwards and Upwards - the adoption open evening is next week...